FAQ’s

• “How should I address you?”

  • If you are seeking to play with me, you may refer to me as Mistress, Mistress Vivienne, or Mistress Vivienne Vai. My pronouns do not need to be capitalized, but I do not mind it if you find it comforting to do so.

    If you are seeking coaching, instruction or to collaborate with me on educational or creative projects, I most commonly go by V, but I also go by V Vai, Vivienne, or Vivienne Vai.

    Other potential ways of addressing each other can be negotiated after our introductions.

    I identify as non-binary, and I often choose to present as Femme in my gender expression while playing.

    My primary pronouns are they/them, and I additionally accept being addressed by $he/her pronouns in erotic labor contexts.

• “How do I book a session with you?”

  • The easiest way is to fill out my submission form. This is the case for both new and returning clients. Returning clients have a special booking form portal page that includes a few other fun rewards for sessioning with me. You can find the returning client booking portal HERE.

    
    

    Make sure to read the information contained here in the FAQs before you apply to serve me.

    
    

    You can now also request an appointment time when you fill out your booking request form. Please note that this is an appointment time request only, and the reservation is therefore tentative; you must wait for me to confirm your reservation by e-mail, otherwise, your appointment time is not considered final. I strive to respond within 24-48 hours to any requests made through my booking forms.

• “How much is your tribute?”

  • My tribute is $400/hr.

  • I require an additional $100 transportation gratuity for sessions taking place in Oakland.

  • Please scroll down to learn about my sliding scale for QTIBIPOC and SW’ers.

• “When can I see you, and how long can I see you for?”

  • I am generally available for sessions between 1pm-9pm on Sundays, Mondays, Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays. (My current availability is reflected in the scheduler on my booking form.)

    
    

    I do not offer same-day or next-day appointments to new clients, only to regular returning clients, and this is still subject to my real-time availability. Ideally, I require at least 72 hrs advance notice for all sessions.

    
    

    My minimum appointment duration for in-person sessions is 1.5 hours in SF or 2 hours for Oakland. I strongly prefer sessions of this length or longer, especially for new clients. If you are interested in an overnight or 24+ hour booking, let me know and I can inform you of my tribute for this kind of engagement. Please be sure to indicate in your session request how long you would like your appointment to be.

    
    

• “What do you require of me to see you? Do I need to submit a deposit?”

  • For first-time clients, I will need a respectfully written inquiry from you sent through my submission form, which makes the process easy and efficient for both of us. It indicates all of the information I need from you so that I don’t have to reiterate those details, which are laid out here in this FAQ and on the form. You can always include clarifying questions in your inquiry if you’re not sure about something you’ve read here.

    
    

    I also require at least 1-2 references from providers you have previously seen. They don’t specifically need to be Dommes, but they must be established providers of some kind. I will need their names, e-mails, website or ad, and the name and e-mail address you used for yourself with them. Ideally, you have references, but if not, let me know that you need like to utilize other ways to verify your identity.

    
    

    For new clients, I also require a $100 deposit sent electronically in advance of our session. (For an initial session that is longer than 3 hours I may require a higher deposit amount.) Your deposit will go towards your total session tribute, and it is non-refundable if you cancel less than 24 hrs before your scheduled appointment time. (Please refer to my cancellation policy below.)

    
    

    This deposit is used to confirm your first booking with me. Even if we have decided on the details and settled on a time and date, your session is ultimately not considered confirmed until I have verified that I have received your deposit. I typically use CashApp (preferred), Bitcoin transfers, or Amazon.com e-gift cards to receive deposits, so please be prepared to utilize one of these methods to confirm your booking.

    
    

• “What if I need to cancel my appointment with you?

  • I understand that there are unforeseeable circumstances that may require you to cancel or reschedule your appointment with me. If you are able to cancel by at least 24 hours before your scheduled appointment time, then there is no penalty. However, due to costs incurred from holding your appointment time for you, if you must cancel for any reason inside of the 24hrs before your scheduled session, I will require a cancellation fee equal to half of your original total tribute, sent to me electronically. You will not be allowed to book with me again until I have received your cancellation fee.

    For new clients, your deposit is non-refundable within 24 hrs of your appointment time.

• “Why do you have to screen me? I value my privacy, and besides, I’m a totally nice person.”

  • Screening is a necessary part of my application protocol, and rest assured, your sensitive information is confidential and only viewed by me for my security. Screening serves a number of purposes, a few of which I will illuminate here for the uninitiated:

    
    

    Assuring my safety. I have no idea who you are, or what you are capable of doing. This work is very high-risk and unfortunately, many providers routinely face disrespect, harassment, and abuse (yes, even if a client is ultimately seeking to be “dominated”). Screening helps to ensure that you are who you say you are and not someone who is seeking to put me in danger.

    
    

    Proving your reliability. People in my line of work have very little ability to be guaranteed compensation for their time and labor. Screening helps to prove that you are reliable and respectful and not a flake or time-waster and that you will make good on your commitment to your scheduled appointment and agreement to my policies.

    
    

    Building a foundation of trust. I strive to devote vast amounts of energy and attention to my clients, and I want to know that my efforts will be returned with mutual respect, understanding, and care. I have no tolerance for those who aim to take advantage of me by wasting and not compensating me for my time, by being flippant with my boundaries, or offending me with crude and incomplete submission applications. Start off by following my booking and screening protocols and you will be on the right path to earning my trust and consideration.

    
    

    Still don’t feel like screening is justified? Perhaps this is not the right time for you to see a professional provider. Feel free to get back in touch when you’ve considered the weight of the aforementioned points and are ready to proceed with my booking process.

    
    

• “I AM new and I don’t have references, what can I do to earn your trust?”

  • Congratulations on courageously reaching out of your comfort zone! If you are new to seeing providers and don’t have references, then I will still require you to be screened. Contact me if this is the case and I can go over my screening protocol for newcomers. I may require a brief phone or video call over an encrypted service, so please be open to and prepared for that possibility.

    
    

    And as stated above, for ALL clients I have not seen before, newbie or not, I require a $100 deposit in advance, sent electronically. I typically use CashApp (preferred), Bitcoin, or Amazon.com e-gift cards.

    
    

• “Where do you session?”

  • I am fortunate to be able to host at a number of well-appointed, comfortable, and secure incall dungeon locations in my home base of the Bay Area. One is located in Oakland, CA, and one is located in San Francisco, CA. Please let me know in your request if you have a preference for either city.

    
    

    I also travel regularly to Los Angeles and can be booked in advance for appointments there. I take appointments at fully outfitted incall dungeon spaces in Downtown L.A.

    
    

    I occasionally go on tour as well; follow me on Twitter and Instagram and sign up for my newsletter to stay up to date about my upcoming travel plans!

    
    

• “Do you offer outcalls?”

  • Yes! Please note, depending on the distance, I may require an additional $50-100 gratuity to cover my transportation.

    
    

• “Do you offer public sessions or ‘vanilla’ dates?”

  • Perhaps you desire the thrill of being helplessly manipulated and discreetly teased in the presence of strangers, or you’re curious about that fetish party you heard about and would like to attend it with a captivating and highly experienced guide at your side instead of standing alone in the dark. Maybe you wish for a traditional “vanilla” public date for dinner or to a museum, with an alluring and intelligent Dominant to accompany you. Or perhaps it puts you in subspace simply to indulge your Mistress in the sensual and material pleasures that delight her while she peruses the stock at an upscale kink or lingerie boutique.

    
    

    I would delight in joining you on engagements like these. Let me know what kind of experience you are seeking and I will respond with the respective requisite tribute for my time and company (which may range between $100-$300/hr). Any transportation, tickets, meals, and other incidental expenses are also to be covered by you in addition to your tribute. However, the opportunity to get to know your Mistress on a more personal level is undeniably priceless.

    
    

• “But Mistress, what if I don’t like pain?”

  • No problem at all! My own kink and BDSM interests are highly varied, and although I love to be sadistic, I am not attached to sadism with every person or in every session. Just indicate this in your submission form and I will exclude it during our play.

    
    

    Regardless of the activities we engage in, I will negotiate with you the use of both verbal and non-verbal safe words/safe signals that we can use during our play, so we will always have a way of checking in and communicating with each other if you want to dial something back or stop the action completely.

    
    

• “What are your hard limits/what will you do or not do?”

  • I do not offer sexual services, aka no sex or intimate worship of any kind in any area that would be covered by a bikini. I also do not offer race play or brown showers, and while I do offer piercing, I do not offer more advanced forms of blood play.

    
    

    Importantly, I reserve the right to amend my boundaries or decline to see someone at any time, including during a session, if I decide that it has become necessary for me to do so. If you push my stated boundaries, disobey my protocols, or engage in any other violation of decorum and I decide to end the session, you are not entitled to a refund.

    
    

• “I am a newcomer to kink! Will you still see me?”

  • Yes! I love introducing people to kink and BDSM. (*If this is your first time seeing a professional provider, please see my question about screening for new players with no previous references.) I simply ask that you respect me and conduct your behavior as you would with any other “vanilla” professional whose services you are seeking: how would you act or speak if you were booking an appointment with your hairstylist, physician, business consultant, etc.? Adult subject matter aside, if you treat me, my time, and our communications with the same tact that you would for anyone else, then you will receive the same from me in return. I am delighted to play with all kinds of people as long as they are respectful, thoughtful, and ready to explore their desires.

    
    

• “What should I expect when I see you for the first time?”

  • We will do a brief negotiation check-in (even if we have already discussed things over e-mail) to make sure of how you are feeling before we start, and to review any important details/limits for our scene. This should take about 5-10 mins, and is included as part of our session time.

    
    

    Every incall space I session at has a full bathroom available. If you would like to shower before and/or after our session, you are welcome to do so. That time is also counted towards your session time. If you know you would like to shower, please let me know during our negotiation and before we begin playing so that I can allow you a few minutes to do this towards the end of our session.

    
    

    Otherwise, no matter the tone of our session, you can expect to have an arousing and revelatory experience that will show you what your mind and body are truly capable of when you decide to let go of your ego and inhibitions, and I will be there as your guide to help lead you to your deepest erotic truth.

    
    

• “Do you offer double or multi-Mistress/playmate sessions?”

  • Yes! I have many friends of diverse interests who I love to play with. You can request to see me with my friends for either part of or the entirety of a session; just indicate this in your inquiry.

    
    

• “Do you see women/couples/trans people/queer people?”

  • Absolutely yes! I have experience working with people of all different identities, and I especially aim to provide a positive and affirming experience for BIPOC and/or queer, transgender, or non-binary people who are ready and eager to develop deeper self-awareness and wisdom through guided kink play with me. I currently offer a sliding-scale tribute for QTBIPOC who would otherwise have difficulty accessing my services. Please let me know in your session request if this is something you would like more information about.

    
    

• “Do you see other SW’s?”

  • Yes! I am happy to offer my services to other currently active SW’ers (because we need attention too!). I also offer a sliding-scale tribute for fellow sex workers/erotic laborers for whom my regular session tribute is out of reach. Please let me know in your session request if this is something you would like more information about.

    
    

• “I’m not ready/I live too far to see you in person, but I would still love to stay up to date on your adventures. Where can I follow you on the internet?”

  • Although nothing compares to being dominated in the flesh in a private session with me, there are many ways to follow and play with me virtually or over the phone without meeting in person. Please visit my VOYEUR page to see how.

    
    

    I also tour on occasion. Please see my BOOKING page and sign up for my e-mail newsletter (linked below in my website footer) for tour updates.

    
    

• “I am interested in learning skills in BDSM and kink. Do you offer private instruction or coaching sessions?”

  • Yes! Teaching and coaching are some of my favorite ways to engage with others in BDSM and kink. Some of the topics I offer instruction and coaching in are boundaries, consent, and communication, handling singletail whips, impact play and rough body play, and intimate connection and awareness for couples through BDSM and kink. Please let me know in your submission application that you are interested in instruction/coaching, and what kinds of skills you are interested in learning and practicing. My fee for private instruction and coaching starts at $180 per hour, and these kinds of sessions are typically between 1.5-2 hours long.

    
    

    **Please note that instructional sessions are not erotic play sessions, and I do not wear “fantasy” clothing when teaching or coaching. But you will definitely still have a fun, sexy, and informative time!

“Thank you so much for this, Mistress! I am now ready to apply to serve you!”

Fantastic! You can go directly to my submission form here.

I look forward to your introduction.